Must've Done Something Right

Whenever you feel exhausted, you look back and think why you're doing things in that manner. Giving all your time, hard work, passion, energy-- you stop and think why put in all these effort. For what cause? For what purpose? For whose benefit do I do this for?

I'm in the world of public service and there is much expected of public servants. There are times that it breaks my heart when I on my capacity cannot comply on requests or anything like so. For example, in our everyday work, we encounter people who would ask for assistance for their medical needs and everyday living. You wonder sometimes why they ask for subsistence when they have able bodies that can contribute to the society and economy. Work in layman's term, is something that they can do to be able to make ends meet. Yet you begin to wonder, but the question in these people's minds might be also, can they get me a job which can provide for me and my family? I hope I have that ability.


Then there are the opportunists. People who try to have their whole lives and family depend on you (and other political offices for this case in my thoughts.) I had a message sent to my office email loop several weeks ago, ranting about a family who for our concern in this office, have depended the education and every trying sustenance of their family in our office and still want to exhaust us dry. Not that we have extended a six figure amount to this family, but a four figure value for education have been extended and there are others that we have to extend our hand to also. If advocacy will be our basis, I cannot even say that the course of the child is within our advocacy even. Hotel and Restaurant Management is not up our ante. AGHAM is Filipino for Science, but still we extended our hands because we didnt want a child to stop education especially when its her senior year in school.


Then there are those whose little gestures warm your heart so much.


One of our scholars for this Second Semester went back to our office and shared with us a couple of books as a thank you gesture for including her in our educational assistance program. She and her father thanked us a lot and wished us God's blessings in our everyday lives.


Requests are common in our office and we try to extend to some of them. A High School student whose mother sent us a request letter for her daughter's participation in an international competition. I took the letter and kept it with me for two weeks until after the Christmas holiday I took it out again and told the mother that she can pick up her request after the New Years. It has been a week and the holiday course got to me and made me forget a bit that I asked her to come by when office resumed. So when she came by I just took out a couple of what was left in the office budget and handed it over to the mom. It wasn't much, just a four figure amount that turns to two figures when you convert it to US dollars.


Three weeks ago, my office mate sent an email for a draft resolution commending students who won an international competition. We'd like to appreciate the representation that they did and the performance that they showed in the competition. Then I encountered one of the top medalists names. My short term memory forgot the first name of the child we helped but I said the last name sounded familiar. To make matters a little off, there was another child in the winners list who had a similar last name.


Yesterday the student dropped by. I never met the kid since it was her mother who went to our office before. She handed me a letter for my boss. After she left I opened the envelope and browsed through the letter. There I knew that she was the student we extended help to, and there I knew that she will be one of the recipients of the commendation we drafted.


In the letter she thanked my boss for extending help when they needed it most. It was a great experience to join a math competition and was extra sweet that she together with other students won the competition. As I read more of it, I cant help but feel warmed by this. The little things that you do for others can contribute greatly to some people.


As I think about her and all the other kids who we've helped, and all the other people we've extended our time, effort, thoughts, money and support to, I cannot help but appreciate the job I go to everyday. I entered  government service for the love/ appreciation of politics (as seen in my educational background) but once youre in it, you realize that there are deeper reasons to it. PUBLIC SERVICE... you appreciate it and it also can make you frustrated. The softy in me has that tendency to want to continue extending her hand to everyone who deserves it and feel the frustration when they start crying or getting mad at you because you cannot extend anymore. Because your well of opportunity only holds as much as it can handle at a given time. But this is where you get to toughen up also, discerning may be the better word for it, because there are people who take the opportunity to dry the well and still forget that they should be thankful for the little or big things that you've done for them.


I hope there is balance in life, truly, but when the opportunists of this world of public service tries to frustrate me, I will try to think of the ones whose lives we've touched and think of their little gestures that have made a big impact in my life, in our lives, and in how we continue to do this service.


We must've done something right to deserve the movers in our lives and in our hearts.

milk tea galore

as much as I like living at the heart of Ortigas Center, I cant help but appreciate this fad that is called "milk tea" and how it has plagued my affluent Filipino-Chinese community in Greenhills. This Wilson Street stretch is now which I dub thee the "milk tea" stretch for you can find a couple of milk tea places. If my 4-days in the house memory serves me right, there are 5 milk tea places on this stretch and three more hiding around the adjacent streets.

to give you a background, I LOVE MILK TEA! my best memory of Hong Kong, circa '95, is being lost in one of those alleys with my family and eating mediocre noodles but drinking the best milk tea known to my young palate. i fell in love that first time, and since then milk tea has been my crazy drink next to bitter black coffee (stress buster drink) and Blue Moon draft (damn, I love you!).

as i type this blog, i am drinking a green tea yakult from one of the places on the stretch. I am thankful to these business owners they decided to place two out of five within walks reach from our building. in my 4-days inside the house rest, i went to both places and both have enjoyed it. so now, where am i headed? i'll try to compare these five (plus plus) places or maybe give some recommendations to anyone who wants to visit them.

(1) Bubble Tea- still my favorite place. I've tried almost every drink known to man (or lifted from the menu) from this place. may it be your cold bubble tea or the hot milk tea, you will really like it. I've recommended this place to a couple of people and they share my glee for this place. The taste exudes some sophistication as you can taste milk and tea in every sip. Just how I like 'em.

***favorite/s: Royal Milk Tea and Jasmine Milk Tea- Hot or Cold it doesnt matter, though I prefer both drinks hot and without the sweetener.

(2) Chatime- I havent tried the Chatime chain on this street but what could be the difference if you've tried Chatime in MOA and Galleria? For some reason I dont have much to say about Chatime except I really like their Taro Milk Tea. I've tried a couple of drinks there and its either too milky or too bland. I always get 50% sweetness level and the variation on taste on some drinks just doesn't do justice. Still Taro Milk Tea (which I got from MOA branch) was really the best Taro there is. There is TARO my friend. Something you just look forward to having when you order a Taro Milk Tea.

*** favorite: Taro Milk Tea- have I not said enough?

(3) DEC (Diao Eng Chay)- I believe they have one too. Its been a while that I went inside that place and bought a drink but I know they have one. Not as much variety as the other milk tea places as DEC is a Chinese deli and not a drink place. Either way, when you need a fix for milk tea or any drink or any food, this is a place to visit.

(4) Tea Tap Cafe- Located at the old site of FPJ for President meetings restaurant (aka. Barrio Fiesta in P. Guevarra), Tea Tap Cafe has given meaning to my life of being away from Ortigas. Why? Its a cafe! and it being a cafe is a good news for me since I can have a new place to hang out at or be alone or study or do some work. Seriously, I went in and I just wanted to spend an hour looking around. Its a great niche for all cafe lovers out there. Plus you come over for MILK TEA! I've only tried one milk tea so far and it was a good one. Matcha Green Milk Tea (however redundant that sounds) was good. Its all the right flavors, purely "matcha" for some weird reason (seriously i cannot justify what purely matcha means, but it tastes so great a Japanese tea to me). Then there's the food. I tried Takoyaki balls that was pretty soft than chewy for me but the taste was terrific than most I've tried. Now here's the other thing. They've got frozen yogurt too (courtesy of Simple Life) and it was wow! you get only one type of frozen yogurt (no fancy chocolate or vanilla or cheesecake), but the taste is simply in all the right places (for me at least). I dont like my yogurt too sweet or too sour, and this changed my palate in eating frozen yogurt. JUST RIGHT! plus the day that i visited them, they had their yogurts 50% off so instead of paying a 100 bucks for yogurt with choco morsels, i paid 50. *wide smiles*

*** favorite/s: Matcha Green Milk Tea and FROZEN YOGURT!!! (and the ambiance, and the cat accepting the tips. argh! too cute!!!)

(5) Share Tea- as i type this, I just finished my second Share Tea drink. My first one was the Green Tea Yakult. It was Ah-Mazing! I am having a hard time describing it, but to me an Ah-Mazing drink usually lets you into all the tastes that you need to get. i tasted that green tea taste and the yakult taste and to me thats all i need to get satisfied. My second drink is the Hokkaido Pearl Milk Tea. I found out as I typed this blog post that there are other places that has this drink but Share Tea has the description which made me try it. It said "milk tea with caramel and toffee" and as I tasted it, with less sugar of course, I can taste that caramel and toffee sweetness. yummy! Though I dont think I'd like to get another serving of Hokkaido for a while. I'm not too fond of sweet milk tea's. I like my milk tea to be a drink and not a dessert, so between the Yakult drink and the milk tea from Share Tea, I choose the Yakult drink right now. I will be back to try other drinks though.

*** favorite: Green Tea Yakult

Along that other street, there's Serenitea. Everyone knows Serenitea. It re-defined milk tea and started the "fad" of this new generation (one which strayed away from Zagu and Quickly, and made things a little expensive.) Serenitea can be the Starbucks of Milk Tea's (dis/agree with me?) but it does have good teas. I've not visited this place in over a year and the last time I remember ordering the Royal Milk Tea there. I liked it, but it tastes like any other Royal Milk Tea without the unusual kick to it. Being a fan of Bubble Tea, yes, I say I like Bubble Tea's Royal Milk Tea better than Serenitea's.

The other one I can think of is near my brother's school. Its called Pao-Pao (I forgot the other name before it) or the place where kids from Xavier and ICA go to to drink some tea and hang-out. They have relatively cheap drinks and food (perfect for these kids) and so the taste is one thats mediocre (talk about Quickly value). I dont have a fave drink though.

There's another one on another street before getting to Pao-Pao but that I haven't tried. Its also a small place with cheap drinks, and I'm not sure when I'll be able to try it.

There are other places with "just milk tea" like North Park and the Formosa Bakery (I heard they have one), then I think Taibun Bakery also has it, but they have it as just one of those drinks available. Needless to say, I haven't tried any of them.

So if you plan to visit me here at home, I can take you to all these places, but based on this post, I think you know where I'll take you. =)

$$$ I suddenly remembered that I didn't get to add the other tea place thats pretty popular to mankind (or some of us). Happy Lemon! though really i wouldnt want to count this as a purely tea place coz they have the "lemons" as their prime drink, but they too have milk teas and that rock salt cheese thingamajig (i havent seen that word in a long time). I've tried a couple of drinks such as the Malt Milk Tea, Roasted Milk Tea, Cocoa with Rock Salt & Cheese, Crispy Cocoa Milk Tea with Brown Sugar Jelly, but the best of them all is this one.... Lemon Honey with Seaweed Jelly! Make it a 1/4% sweet and explore the yummy-ness of Lemon with some honey and the taste of seaweed jelly. Its the most refreshing drink since mint cocoa.

***favorite: Lemon Honey with Seaweed Jelly

I Know Better

 From: +63-933-2328792

Congratulations! U have won 300k Pesos+Fortuner car, ur Sim# as a homepartner last Feb.26,2011 for info:Call dis no:09332328792 Dir: Jay Flores of Phil:Com.Center

If I was desperate in life, I would've hurriedly dialed the number. Who doesn't like to get prizes? Who doesn't like to get 300k and a twin to our car? But because in each passing day I have received a similar text message or that South African widow email, I know how to deal with these stuff. I shrug it off my system.

This time, I decided to blog about it coz I Googled the info here. There's that "Jay Flores" and that "Phil:Com.Center" which seem to make this message quite legit. But before you hit the search button, here's my advice, read the message again.

(1) Think about Feb. 26, 2011. Did you ever join a contest recently that you had to leave your cellphone number? In my case it was a no-brainer since the number that this message landed on was my work number, and I never give out my work number when it is for anything personal (say raffles, signing up for memberships, etc.) For those who don't even watch shows that asks you to text in this keyword and send to this number, then you're probably off the hook as well. In case you're not in any of the previous no-brainer situations, I suggest do the next one.

(2) Is the grammar correct? "U have won 300k Pesos+Fortuner car, ur Sim# as a homepartner last Feb.26,2011" to correct: You won 300K and a Fortuner car in a (raffle) last 2/26/11. Your (sim?) phone number was picked as a homepartner... etc. A legitimate message from a legitimate company would proofread the messages that they deliver twice or thrice and it will not be in the hands of just one person but of several, even a team.

(3) I dont even watch game shows, how can I be a homepartner?

(4) Then enter Google. Type in any keyword from the message then hit search. There you will find out that you are not the only one these guys are trying to get money from. This site was a big help in explaining the modus operandi for these schemes: http://www.wazzupmanila.com/protect-yourself-from-fraudalent-promos/92/

(5) If you realized how bad that you fell for this thing only to find out that Google has the answer, then you should have your EQ checked.

My purpose here is to add exposure to these things. It is as bothering as someone sending you a message that this is their new "roaming" number and that they will be needing help to reload their prepaid credits. This is sickening and we as the public and consumers should expose these things and yes, report them to the authorities.

There are a lot of people out there who are desperate to get money or (in form of) prepaid credits from you, be warned, be aware. Report to the authorities as soon as you get these types of messages.

things from the not so distant past

I've been digging up some of my stuff from when I was in Baltimore. I was trying to look for something else but ended up looking at my old stuff one by one, piece by piece. It was quite fun doing so. I actually am not done yet as I just started with it. I saw some baseball cards, movie tickets (a bunch of them in a small box), pictures, little notebooks, the like.

It was nice seeing them again and getting to think of all those things. The best thing about it is that most are still fresh in my mind. What I'd like to find next are those tickets to baseball games, that pre-season Ravens ticket (oh wait, i have it inside a book. never mind.), the US Open ticket (washed by the rain, though I have it in my external hard drive). Some things pretty much sum up my existence and those couple of papers or what not's, tell a story of my history and describes me in more ways than I know to describe myself.

the year is near to a close

 its a week before Christmas and this is the time when we are all rushing to get our Christmas list done. unfortunately for me, I havent started one yet. I have gift ideas but I cannot figure out which to really give. I'd love to give everyone gifts but since getting my first paycheck, ive been saving for the rainy day, or in this case, im saving for 2012.

no, im not getting married.

im trying to save for another set of tuition and fees, thanks to graduate studies. this will be for real graduate studies. i still have to decide between law school or a masters course in either governance or politics, well those are all the options i have, and it is tough to think of. there are the career options open for either courses and the likelihood that i'll stick to what i really want. REALLY WANT is a debate right now as to WHAT THEY WANT. good to really ponder on for a long time.

so in the spirit of off-season (no work), i am given the chance to think of my future as a student again. as long as by this time next year, i should have taken entrance tests already, and that civil service exam by summer. oh, need to hit those books again i guess....

The Time That Has Passed Is Yet to be Revisited

 It hasn't been revisited.

Nah! I'm not really sure, but I think the least that I can do to not be fully indebted with my blog is just give ti a little time and write something on it. I've missed blogging for a long time, yet the lack of substance has offered me no choice but to avoid blogging until further notice.

And notice the use of the words "lack of substance", I am partly talking about mojitos and margaritas there.

My months have revolved from being self-centered to all-centered. I've been a human for everyone. Who knew it was a big responsibility? I'm not superwoman (oh no way!), but I've been much responsible for a lot of things than I could've imagined almost a year ago.

It's tough but I'm having quite some fun.

But you do realize that you want to turn back the clock and pick out the decision apart from what you've decided on. You start asking the different "what if's" and ask yourself, "would I have been better off that way?"

I never questioned my decisions, and I am happy to have decided the way I did and be on the shoes I'm wearing now. Yet there are times when you feel that there are gaps in your life that a professional career hasn't filled yet. There are questions in life yet to be answered, and there are places yet to be discovered.

At times I think I've made the wrong decision because I've given up on the me-centered life. In the midst of a hustle, its always nice to get back to having a quite fun loving life, a carefree life.

Yet I cannot live the always me-centered life. For one, its expensive and you need to live for the next day as well. Second, there's a need to grow up, and growing up involves leaving yourself and thinking about other people as well.

At present, I like the busy life. I get to spend time not thinking about me and just do what I have to do. Robots are designed that way, be busy. It's good sometimes because you get to make use of your youth at the service of others. You think of what you have to do the next day, and the next, and the following day. You think of it as not JUST the next day, but you get CHALLENGED that it is the next day.

retirement

i have forced my shoes to an early retirement, i realized as i walked the crazy sidewalk in the middle of Ortigas beside EDSA that it has to retire before it breaks down and lose its wonderful life in infinite sadness.

for all the long walks, the short walks, the lazy walks, the fast walks.
for all the jeans, the work pants, the reds, blues, whites, blacks
for all the traveling around the streets of Manila, to crossing the lanes of Ortigas
the strolls around Baltimore City and running with the crowd in New York City
or the feel of walking high in DC.
from the malls to the halls of the lower house
and basically, just for all the stress that i gave you, thank you.

and now, as i set the shoes back on the rack, i welcome a new pair of black shoes. Crocs (registered trademark) is a good pair for my feet, especially when they're a little high. its level, its comfort is something i trust when i walk around a lot. in my job, i do walk around a lot, and using this pair would surely help me... hopefully.

i'll tell you more later updates about my new pair.

the toy shop

i went to the toy store with the family today. we were getting a gift for my cousin who's celebrating his birthday soon. as soon as i got into the store, i felt this familiar aura that never dies. i felt like a kid.

i strolled around the racks looking at the dolls they have, but i did that in passing. when i was a little kid, i surely have been a fan of those Barbie dolls and the like, but when I grew up, and had a baby brother, I was inclined to having those boy stuff. I've become the robots and cars kind of girl (though FYI: i had matchbox cars, a robot taller than Barbie, and R/C cars to name a few when i was young).

I got to the boys section of the store where the cars, action figures, robots, and those other new ones are. I saw some awesome Gundam figures I've not seen before (some of the boxes look much authentic and better than those we have at home), the Bey Blade toys and stadiums that have been revamped since seven years ago, and some other toys there. What caught me though are the huge boxes of Star Wars toys and a race car track from Hot Wheels which was a replica from that Toy Story scene when Buzz rode a matchbox car and went on a loop. It was awesome I wanted it. Then I saw an F1 Ferrari replica car. I've always been a sucker for that. die cast, 1:18 scale model of that cool red car. I wanted a whole collection of that ever since, like a whole glass case of that. it was on sale but i didnt get one coz it seemed like the windshield material they used was of poor quality. i think it was low class plastic. it didnt make the whole package. bummer.

so i have now some items on my toy shopping list. to get a VERY GOOD quality of die cast Ferrari, a Hot Wheels with Buzz Lightyear, that huge Star Wars box (that seems to have a universe), and order an Oriole Potato Head for me. That's just some of those I can think of right now...

PS: Saw the REAL Iron Man Potato Head. Thinking of getting one.... =D

my unsolicited opinion on an issue

i posted this on my Twitter using Twitlonger and since this is a blog post in itself, it needs to be posted here too. this is my view about Bro. Armin Luistro, currently appointed as the Education secretary and former President of the De La Salle University system, my alma mater. Anyone who knows me that I've not always been supportive of what Bro. Armin has supported, but in this case, I understand his reaction with the issue. It might not have been a favorable reaction to media men, but it doesn't mean that he isn't right in reacting that way.

"Not coz I'm a La Sallian, I'm giving reason out of Bro. Armin's action during his media interview on his first day on the job. But I think it isn't right that Bro. Armin should be singled out, or persecuted, for his blunt reaction when asked by the media for his comment re: sex education. He shared his thoughts to the media, and to all of us, because for him who comes from both the academe and the Church, it isnt right that we try to witness two factors of society clash into each other and enjoy the fight going on. Bro. Armin, being from both sectors, is left to understand each side and each point that needs to be understood and evaluated in order to know how to execute a move and finalize a decision on the issue. The media might have seen this part of the interview as overbearing and snobbish, yet they've forgotten that before this, they were able to speak to him in a nice manner."

sleep

 its 530pm on a Monday and I realized that I slept most of the day. i know i fell asleep at around 12 midnight last night after sipping some wine from the work party, then came home to drink my usual vitamins and then added the antihistamine. then i realized it was 9am. But that didnt stop there, coz next i realized it was 10am. wow! how did that happen? guess i fell asleep again. between 10 to 1045 i still had naps, until my mom called me and told me she was going to my grandma's. i didnt go with her but that was a cue that i have to wake up too. so some things in between (ie: check emails, watch TV, read tweets, post tweets, shower), at 12nn i was out of the door to the mall across my building to eat lunch. i felt like having spaghetti, due mainly to me celebrating my Uncle's birthday (noodles for long life they say), then I ate, met up with my mom for a bit, she had me run some errands for her, then I got a huge cup of coffee (thanks CBTL), then I was back inside my pad at 230pm.

then by 3pm, I was sleeping again and just woke up not too long ago.

right now, i feel like i just carried a luggage on my eyes. i still cant open it properly. this feeling cant absolutely be right. it feels really weird. I've never felt like a log in my whole life until now. a worthless log even. i guess im thankful that today our group didnt have an office yet or else i would've started my day way early. at least right now i can take a break, sleep, and do my homeworks when my stubborn eyes have cooperated with me. but it doesnt say that i dont feel like sh*t coz of this. when these things happen, u just feel like uve lost a chunk of ur life and unable to get it back.

or maybe to compensate for lost hours, i gotta stay awake the whole night. lets see how that goes then.

Writing

I've been wanting to write coz I surely miss it, yet what can I write about?

Honestly, I have three drafts and maybe a dozen other things to write about. My aim was to put up another blog site just to detail my rants and cheers to the Orioles but that never progressed due to (gasp!) lack of time. Yes, as much as I am "unemployed", I do not have enough time to deal with all the things I want to deal with. Why is it always like that? Coz when you are unemployed, you are everyones errand girl, you are everyones slave, you hear everyone say "can i ask you a favor?" (and you end up saying, "sure!").

I'm not ranting on those things really, its just that my hopes to put up a new blog was put on the side. I ended up throwing 140 characters (spaces included) on Twitter every 15 seconds. Sometimes, due to time difference, I end up sleeping during live games. Somehow I failed on my aim to practice my writing by pouring my heart out on something I like to do. Its tough being me (a reason that we always hear, right?).

Yet I have been doing writing lessons for kids these days. Wait, change kids to young adults. Its summertime and besides the need to polish my brothers writing, I wanted to gauge my cousins as well. Weeks ago, I asked them to write down five songs that they really like, and later on revealed to them the task at hand. They were fearful when they heard that they had to write. Write a three paragraph review of each song that they picked. I thought it was awesome, they thought otherwise. So I subjected five kids into writing without their permission? What happened afterwards is a nice study/ observation/ experiment for either behavior specialists or psychologists.

The youngest was the only one to accomplish five essays on the prescribed time period. My brother submitted his completed work three days after the prescribed time. My girl cousin finished the first essay right away, the second essay was submitted a day after the needed submission time, and essays 3 to 5 are not yet submitted. My two other cousins did not do anything, sadly.

It is such a hard task to impose writing to kids these days. With all the information on their hands, they do not make use of it by using their minds to analyze information and pour out their opinions about these. They pour out their energy using the internet as a means to play computer games, watch episodes of their favorite shows, and use social networking sites to know what the latest scoop on AI, on show business, or whats the latest emo song. It is tough being older and not seeing them spend their time doodling on paper, reading love stories or detective stories, writing phrases then sentences then essays. It is hard that they do not know how to properly express themselves in writing.

Writing for me is the best means to express oneself, and I do admit that I do get the moods too when writing. In numerous occasion I feel that anything I write does not make sense. It seems like I lack the complete thought or I was not able to equip my essay with words that makes itself understandable to the reader. I too encounter times when I do not feel like I am writing the way I should or that I lack the level of writing that I have put on myself. I always wish to be better, I wish to always improve my writing. But how do I even find out that I want to improve my writing?

BY WRITING, what else?

One of the tips in writing that I kept on telling them was that to know and improve how you write, you must write. There is no other way to know these things but to do it. You have to keep on doing it and have someone read it so you'll know how you fare. Later on you'll get the knack on writing and end up editing your own work because you have practiced it repeatedly. Writing is a trial and error process. Even the best writings can be improved by supplying better words or re-phrasing, whenever the need is there. Not only you exercise your writing skills but you exercise your brain, language skills, analytical skills.

It seems like a dead end task when they don't take things seriously as you do, but I am not giving up. I will think of ways to make them write, to let them understand that polishing their writing skills is important to do now than have their teachers criticize them. Oh Lord have mercy! Please shine the light on them.

I miss baseball

I do miss baseball, but most importantly, I miss the W's.

No, I don't have a different baseball team right now.

W's stand for Wins, and I miss the feeling of winning. The Orioles games have been making me and everyone else cry. We haven't encountered a lot of wins, and we crave each one of them. When the O's win, we savor them (savor 2 wins out of 14 games, thats great). How I wish we can be like last year at least, but we're worse than last year. The Astros at least have 3 wins now. The Mets have 5 wins (a lil better off than us), the Pirates have 7 wins (for crying out loud). The Orioles, Ive got to say, is at the slumpiest I can imagine. oh have mercy!

We dont have a star closer to blame right now. We don't have a highest paid player to blame even. We have to point it to a collective reason why there are no wins. We have limited pitching power, we have problems with our batters. No one can drive themselves back to the home plate even, and I dont even know for what reason this is happening.

Before the end of last season, we had a start to the "new" Trembley approach. Is this still part of it, coz even last season, that Trembley approach didn't work. That was the time we had a 12 game losing streak. Don't we get a trend to this?

I miss Bergesen, Reimold, Scott, Markakis, and Jones. If they can even be the slightest of themselves last year, that would be really nice. But this is not the Bergesen we knew from May-July 2009. This is not the Reimold we saw who was running for Rookie of the Year last season. This is not the Scott before All-Stars. This is not Markakis who had the eagle eye and can bat with sure power. This is not the Golden Glove/ All-Star CF Jones. This is a messed up team who seemed to come from the minors, and we are the worst in MLB rankings right now.

Besides these, our problem lies with us earning more injuries and players on DL. Roberts, Tejada, Pie, and even Gonzo all are out of shape at present. This is what's contributing to the great Orioles fall. Its the saddest song that we'll ever hear all season.

We've just begun but it is giving all concerned the desperation and anxiety to at least do something good, something better. Is it a curse? I hope not. Is it a type of mismanagement? Maybe. Is it a feeling of being crapped out or intimidated? I hope not. It's just begun and unless the Orioles do something to get things better, this season will be a LONG season.

phew!

woohoo! i was able to pretty much accomplish part of what i was doing. i was trying to make this work website via blogger. truthfully, i didnt want to use blogger since blogger is for blogging, not for business websites, but i ended up getting angry with the other free sites. oh well. so it was nice to play around blogspot once more and found out that there are a lot of things that they added to the site. after working on it, i am now thinking of giving a new look to Fish Tank. you'll see the changes in the next couple of days, or weeks depending on how busy i am with the other things that i have to do. for now, check out the blog/website that i just finished:

http://jboschkuchen.blogspot.com/




I still have problems with it as I cannot remember how to resize it automatically like how I do it with Fish Tank, and how I can get rid of the blog post footer. the one with the "Atom" or anything that looks odd on the pages. I just really want to change some other things in the site still, but for now, I'm pretty satisfied with this (so is my boss, thank you).

btw, i noticed earlier also that there are changes with the blogger CSS templates that I think it isn't written as how it was before. i dunno really how you call it, but comparing it to Fish Tank's template, its pretty different.

Lunch

I know no one cares, but I want to post my lunch menu here.

(1) Curry Katsudon
(2) Shake Roll (salmon)
(3) slice of pudding bread with vanilla sauce
(4) bottle of water
(5) cafe au lait

I'm working and I have all these food in front of me. Add to that a pad paper, a notebook, and a PC laptop.

Happy Happy Things

Reader,

I would like to apologize for the rants that I've been making. Life isnt miserable, but sometimes, you end up taking note of the bad things.

There are wonderful things thats happening also.

(1) I found a very good service staff already on my cafe/ restaurant trips. They are from a small cafe on the 4th floor of the Galleria called, Ms. Polly's. She was able to convince me to order some cake, though I was starving myself (aka diet). She was really courteous also and was serving us properly. I would like to commend her.

(2) Spring Festival at The ShangriLa until I dont know when. I shouldve watched it last Saturday instead of getting bored and looking for other things to do. movies were interesting, I just cant remember what were the ones i liked to watch. will watch as soon as i can

(3) there's a mini-park two blocks from me. beside the park are coffee shops and a gelato place. awesome! too bad i was jogging that time. where i live is a business district, and even residential condominiums had offices. in each building, there's a food place. when u jog around food places, thats meant for you to only think of food. what is worse is when u pass by the pandesal place and smell fresh pandesal at 4 in the afternoon. how good is that? i love this place!

(4) we went to Tagaytay and found this site:


how exciting! we'll see a house here in hopefully three years. yay!

(5) i am a bum who has 3 jobs right now. awesome!

There are things that make u love life a lot, things that make u cherish and enjoy each thing that happens also. I am slowly finding mine thank God! hope u find ur good vibes too.

-fish tank-

rants for today: service staff

(1) i started going to the gym the other day. i was an energizer bunny and i was in high spirits. since its my re-enrollment in that gym, i have 3 free PT sessions so that they can give me a program. i didnt make a schedule ahead of time so i made an appointment for the following day. they asked me if it will be my first time to go to the gym, and i chuckled saying, "its my first time in a long time." i must admit, last time i was in that gym was almost 5 years ago (Dec 05 was the last one, i believe). then they looked at each other and gave that annoying smirk that meant like, "man! she's not been here in a long time. that's why." that look actually pissed me off. that wasn't the first time anyone on that gym did that. a few weeks back, another lady staffer did the same thing after i told them when my last visit to that gym was. annoying.

(2) i went to this nice japanese place to get myself some lunch. it was in a quiet side of the mall, the food has always been good, and the price is affordable. so i went in and there were 4 tables occupied. each table had some company, and i was rather alone. the server took 2 minutes before she handed the menu to me, and she looked and sounded rather annoyed that i was alone, that i asked what the contents of a Nabeyaki Udon is, and that i didnt order any drinks. but come to think about it, my meal ended up with 225 pesos, a good sum for a place like that and for eating alone. besides the Nabeyaki Udon, i had a very good Salmon Temaki. the Salmon Temaki itself is 100pesos already. what more is she asking for? i was thinking. my udon came and the other lady, the pregnant one, almost slid the bowl on my table. i just closed my eyes and thank the heavens that it didnt spill on me and that i have patience. the only nice person in that place was the manager. she was courteous and friendly.

(3) i went to get some desserts for home. it was after the usual break time/ rush hour in fast food. i wanted to take home some cake slices because i missed black forest and sylvannas, and i wanted to try that white forest cake. so i ordered from the lady who, even before i came up to the register, was asking her manager to teach her some things on computing something (or whatever). the lady on the register was nice, the manager gave an annoyed look when i had to take some of their time so that i can place my order. it was too apparent as he wasnt even happy that there was someone wanting to buy from them. he did the same thing with the two other customers after me.

its so good that i get to sleep (even if it isnt such good sleep), i get to wake up, i get to be happy. i dont want to be like any of those people. i hope that i may be given a lot of patience or if not, then a calm spirit to voice out the problems when it needs to be addressed.

Avatar again...

so yeah, i at last got to watch Avatar again. with a caramel macchiatto and a big bag of popcorn, i journeyed to Pandora with "JakeSully" once more. this time in a downgraded version. 3D only, not IMAX. bad? wasn't expecting it to be bad really, but i was headed for something worse.

so i sat there with my goggles. i know i cannot feel like im trapped inside the ship with the earthlings, but man! i felt like in a pirated 3D version of the movie. for one thing, i cannot get into the 3D experience when i can see all the pixels, lines, and shadows of it being 3D. its like that 3D ride in Ocean Park circa 95. u can see the images chasing you but the "real life" experience of watching this movie, in all the glory that it should be giving, wasnt given justice. i blame right now the lighting. bad lighting on the screen or is it the projector that caused this movie to suck. it seems to be on negative contrast that u miss out on the beautiful blue Na'vi creatures, or the green-ness of the trees, or the bright lights that light up Neytiri and Jake's path, man! missed that, and everyone else in that theater cannot appreciate the whole hoolabaloo on this movie because of that projection. caused me 3Advils and a freakin headache still. darn it.

otherwise tho, this movie experience was good also coz my brother was as amazed as i am, and he was quiet (and he helped me finish that popcorn which i never thought would be done).

PS: there was this scene in the middle of the movie that i laughed because there was something rather odd or funny that popped out on the background. unless i get to remember and describe what it was, i shall never be able to tell u right now what it is. =D

What 2009 Meant to Me

2009 has been a roller coaster of events for me. It was coincidental that 2009 was the year I was 25, that even before I turned exactly 25 I felt like it already. Those times I kept thinking to myself, what is it really to be 25?

2009 was when I tried to fall in love, and failed. I think I fell in love with myself more.

2009 was when I spent a whole lot of hours being cheer-ful. I was cheering for my Orioles and Ravens a lot.

2009 was when I was 25. As what Britney Spears would sing, "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman". Maybe actually I am a girl who enjoyed life a lot, and a woman who took charge and be responsible of herself.

2009... I had 3 phones. My phone last year got replaced coz it was broken. My replacement pretended it was lost. The replacement#2 is alive but had just lost its back cover. I'm getting an iPhone soon 2010. Weeh!

2009 I have numerous books. Trying to collect all Harry Potter at the same time was one of the reasons (I haven't got 5 &6 yet). Now, it is being shipped to the Philippines arriving on February.

2009 I had iTunes download galore! Every quarter, I had at least $50 spent on iTunes.

2009 was when I watched more TV shows than I usually would. Who would've thought I still watched TV? Thanks to Lost, HIMYM, White Collar, Community, The Office, and of course my guilty pleasure called Glee, for being a part of my TV and internet life (coz I watched most of them on the net). Thanks to MLB, NFL, and tennis for having The Orioles (plus Mets and Yankees), the Ravens, and Roger Federer in my life.

2009 was when I proved to be a sports nut. Orioles @ Camden Yards= 12 games. Orioles @ Yankee Stadium= 1. Mets @ Shea Stadium=1. Orioles @ Nationals Stadium=1. US Open=1.

2009 was when I didn't really look forward too a lot of movies, neither read reviews, but then showed up in the theater a lot. I was either disappointed or happy about some movies.

2009... I dont know how to describe it more.

2010 will be different, a whole lot different you may say, but I will forever cherish 2009.

and 2009, I was emo. hihihi!

Journals

Before I got my Macbook, I was in the mercy of notebooks that has all the stories and thoughts of me back in '06. Thoughts on being in a "strange" place, of missing home, of what I have been doing, of what I want to do, of the last movie I saw, the CD im listening to, so on and so forth. These made me think of how different I have become after all those months (I'd like to say months since years are shorter). What does make people different anyway? That I have to figure out still.

Would you believe that I have three notebooks just for 2006? I'm just throwing that fact.

It's fun reading these things again though. I still have some of my writings back like 10 years ago too, and its fun to read because besides pointing out the differences, you get to know yourself more and the progression in your life (besides the progression in grammar). Its funny though how some of my thoughts are quite the same. Like the little schoolgirl giggles that I do when I write, it still is funny when I read it. It's like reading the a book from the Love Story series.

That's why I keep journals. Handwritten journals, as opposed to blogs allow you to scribble your thoughts as well. Just throw in random words and your curse words, and you're good to go. With blogs, you think about the other people who will be reading it. Handwritten journals are the real you because you are more carefree to write and write down what you are thinking.

I still have a journal, I just don't get to write much on them as I used to. I should start doing that again.

And the countdown begins...

its 31 days before another chapter in my life ends and a new one begins. i sound too cheesy here, but that is the truth. its not that 2010 is the new millennium, or that the number 6 has been instrumental in some of my pivotal moments (because almost 4 years ago, on 3/6/06, is when i started the chapter of the one that im just closing)... it just happened that way.

i cant believe thats how long it was yet it seems like yesterday. or maybe it wasnt really long ago, it wasnt ancient, yet time just moves fast giving us new things to learn, new stuff to deal with, and it just makes us grow and hopefully gain wisdom at each step. its just how life takes us, and we have to deal with it with open arms, open minds, and open hearts. (i love the seeming logic in what im writing, or the subtle philosophy, but i should go ahead and write).

when i come to think about things, i tell myself that i can sales-pitch myself for a good career/project proposal. i can get loans with the words i say, yet deep in me there's still this little voice that says, "i dunno what you're up to, chicken, but i think your words are vague." and that is true. as much as i try to make myself confident that i know what im doing, that im sure what i want, there's always this dark force that makes you doubt if you're even going to make it. im not sure if i have to blame Gemini for this thinking, but thats just how i am. i feel confident on one hand, and i feel anxious about tomorrow on the other. please tell me im normal.

its like that show i was watching though told me. maybe you've just put yourself too much on that pedestal, you've put that bar high that you want to achieve something to be competitive, but at the same time you beat yourself up when u dont feel like you've measured up. maybe sometimes you've got to take it easy and enjoy what life has to give. lets see how i'll put that into practice then.