The Time That Has Passed Is Yet to be Revisited

 It hasn't been revisited.

Nah! I'm not really sure, but I think the least that I can do to not be fully indebted with my blog is just give ti a little time and write something on it. I've missed blogging for a long time, yet the lack of substance has offered me no choice but to avoid blogging until further notice.

And notice the use of the words "lack of substance", I am partly talking about mojitos and margaritas there.

My months have revolved from being self-centered to all-centered. I've been a human for everyone. Who knew it was a big responsibility? I'm not superwoman (oh no way!), but I've been much responsible for a lot of things than I could've imagined almost a year ago.

It's tough but I'm having quite some fun.

But you do realize that you want to turn back the clock and pick out the decision apart from what you've decided on. You start asking the different "what if's" and ask yourself, "would I have been better off that way?"

I never questioned my decisions, and I am happy to have decided the way I did and be on the shoes I'm wearing now. Yet there are times when you feel that there are gaps in your life that a professional career hasn't filled yet. There are questions in life yet to be answered, and there are places yet to be discovered.

At times I think I've made the wrong decision because I've given up on the me-centered life. In the midst of a hustle, its always nice to get back to having a quite fun loving life, a carefree life.

Yet I cannot live the always me-centered life. For one, its expensive and you need to live for the next day as well. Second, there's a need to grow up, and growing up involves leaving yourself and thinking about other people as well.

At present, I like the busy life. I get to spend time not thinking about me and just do what I have to do. Robots are designed that way, be busy. It's good sometimes because you get to make use of your youth at the service of others. You think of what you have to do the next day, and the next, and the following day. You think of it as not JUST the next day, but you get CHALLENGED that it is the next day.

future? what future?

i just had one of the most irritating IM's with a friend. ive not talked to her in a while and she asks me why im going back home. i tell her why, and she asks me repeatedly, "are u serious?" or "would u even want to vote for him?" i told her what i was honestly thinking, but i was getting really pissed. then she asks me why im doing this? do i want to be a politician? or to be a president? I said, no, but i'd like to be an appointed official in the future. and she asks, like who? and im like thinking, am i not being appointed so i just have to fit the bill? but later on i thought, i should just get this whole conversation out of my face really. so i replied "dude, i dont need to think about that right now. and thats what im trying to get into (career field). if i want to be selfish, i will do things to make myself get into it and do what i want." she only said OK and didnt talk to me again. I did make my point I guess.

what irritates me is that she wanted me to tell her what my future is and she gives me a judgmental rebuttal. what the heck? for one, I am not telling u what my future is, I am telling u what I want my future will be. Those are my goals im trying to lay out, get that?

oh and its 3am. that makes me not want to talk to u all the more.

ranting

I know my mom would hate this posted up here, but i just want to write it down because for me, i know im right in thinking this way.

Club moderators are part of the school system. 80% of club moderators are teachers for regular academic subjects also. Now, teachers usually have bulletins given to them, or regular meetings that tell them what activities are happening around a certain period. These things are given to them in advance. When teachers are tenured, they get to that routine and note down the common events that are happening in a calendar year.

These things happened in my private school before, where I went to school for 11 years. I am sure its the same thing, if not supposedly better, in my brother's school which is a private school also.

As club members, it is the duty of the student to inform the teachers if there is any conflict in their schedule with club meetings. If in any case you were not able to tell them ahead of time, club moderators are to me, usually approachable, that you can go to them and tell them politely, "I'm sorry I was out the last time because there was an event for my section." Period. That's it. No if's, but's, whatsoever. That stops there. The usual reaction I get before was "oh yes, I've heard." or a smile. I don't know with other teachers, but I had a pretty good experience I guess.

And mom, I have not changed for the worst, I think. I only want to speak out what I'm thinking. I don't think it is wrong to tell that teacher that whatever he does that is improper is really improper. Someone gets reprimanded whenever needed, but not when it is pointless or without merit. and Art class? Art should be enjoyed, not feared. And teachers should create a way to invite students to enjoy and appreciate art and know its value to life, and not for it to just be an obligatory part of their curriculum.

and another..

 "whatever you have, enjoy it. same goes with whatever you dont have, still have to enjoy it. because whenever there's a door thats closed, a window is still open to prevent you from losing air."

and i quote...

 "its too much baggage, but that is one baggage you do not want to get rid off... its like after being in a relationship that did not end properly" (on hang-ups and excess "emotional" baggage)

or vice versa

 "we are in the midst of feeling old while really young."

--- me =D

who is the real marge?

being a gemini, there are two sides to a marge. right now she just realized that the gemini twins castor and pollux suddenly had a new image: a giggly school girl, and future marge. sometimes giggly school girl comes by and jumps around, but devious future marge trips giggly marge and lets her fall on her face.

but where is real-time marge? i dunno. i guess she is a figment of everyone's imagination.