Testing

I just want to know if this works. If it does then you'll see me more here again I guess. Welcome back Fish Tank?

Maybe. We'll see.

Must've Done Something Right

Whenever you feel exhausted, you look back and think why you're doing things in that manner. Giving all your time, hard work, passion, energy-- you stop and think why put in all these effort. For what cause? For what purpose? For whose benefit do I do this for?

I'm in the world of public service and there is much expected of public servants. There are times that it breaks my heart when I on my capacity cannot comply on requests or anything like so. For example, in our everyday work, we encounter people who would ask for assistance for their medical needs and everyday living. You wonder sometimes why they ask for subsistence when they have able bodies that can contribute to the society and economy. Work in layman's term, is something that they can do to be able to make ends meet. Yet you begin to wonder, but the question in these people's minds might be also, can they get me a job which can provide for me and my family? I hope I have that ability.


Then there are the opportunists. People who try to have their whole lives and family depend on you (and other political offices for this case in my thoughts.) I had a message sent to my office email loop several weeks ago, ranting about a family who for our concern in this office, have depended the education and every trying sustenance of their family in our office and still want to exhaust us dry. Not that we have extended a six figure amount to this family, but a four figure value for education have been extended and there are others that we have to extend our hand to also. If advocacy will be our basis, I cannot even say that the course of the child is within our advocacy even. Hotel and Restaurant Management is not up our ante. AGHAM is Filipino for Science, but still we extended our hands because we didnt want a child to stop education especially when its her senior year in school.


Then there are those whose little gestures warm your heart so much.


One of our scholars for this Second Semester went back to our office and shared with us a couple of books as a thank you gesture for including her in our educational assistance program. She and her father thanked us a lot and wished us God's blessings in our everyday lives.


Requests are common in our office and we try to extend to some of them. A High School student whose mother sent us a request letter for her daughter's participation in an international competition. I took the letter and kept it with me for two weeks until after the Christmas holiday I took it out again and told the mother that she can pick up her request after the New Years. It has been a week and the holiday course got to me and made me forget a bit that I asked her to come by when office resumed. So when she came by I just took out a couple of what was left in the office budget and handed it over to the mom. It wasn't much, just a four figure amount that turns to two figures when you convert it to US dollars.


Three weeks ago, my office mate sent an email for a draft resolution commending students who won an international competition. We'd like to appreciate the representation that they did and the performance that they showed in the competition. Then I encountered one of the top medalists names. My short term memory forgot the first name of the child we helped but I said the last name sounded familiar. To make matters a little off, there was another child in the winners list who had a similar last name.


Yesterday the student dropped by. I never met the kid since it was her mother who went to our office before. She handed me a letter for my boss. After she left I opened the envelope and browsed through the letter. There I knew that she was the student we extended help to, and there I knew that she will be one of the recipients of the commendation we drafted.


In the letter she thanked my boss for extending help when they needed it most. It was a great experience to join a math competition and was extra sweet that she together with other students won the competition. As I read more of it, I cant help but feel warmed by this. The little things that you do for others can contribute greatly to some people.


As I think about her and all the other kids who we've helped, and all the other people we've extended our time, effort, thoughts, money and support to, I cannot help but appreciate the job I go to everyday. I entered  government service for the love/ appreciation of politics (as seen in my educational background) but once youre in it, you realize that there are deeper reasons to it. PUBLIC SERVICE... you appreciate it and it also can make you frustrated. The softy in me has that tendency to want to continue extending her hand to everyone who deserves it and feel the frustration when they start crying or getting mad at you because you cannot extend anymore. Because your well of opportunity only holds as much as it can handle at a given time. But this is where you get to toughen up also, discerning may be the better word for it, because there are people who take the opportunity to dry the well and still forget that they should be thankful for the little or big things that you've done for them.


I hope there is balance in life, truly, but when the opportunists of this world of public service tries to frustrate me, I will try to think of the ones whose lives we've touched and think of their little gestures that have made a big impact in my life, in our lives, and in how we continue to do this service.


We must've done something right to deserve the movers in our lives and in our hearts.

translate this please

the work computer has the Google settings on Filipino and I cannot understand some of the words (really). so i was looking for a way to change the settings.

then this is what appears after using the HELP link...

Good luck to me then.

I Know Better

 From: +63-933-2328792

Congratulations! U have won 300k Pesos+Fortuner car, ur Sim# as a homepartner last Feb.26,2011 for info:Call dis no:09332328792 Dir: Jay Flores of Phil:Com.Center

If I was desperate in life, I would've hurriedly dialed the number. Who doesn't like to get prizes? Who doesn't like to get 300k and a twin to our car? But because in each passing day I have received a similar text message or that South African widow email, I know how to deal with these stuff. I shrug it off my system.

This time, I decided to blog about it coz I Googled the info here. There's that "Jay Flores" and that "Phil:Com.Center" which seem to make this message quite legit. But before you hit the search button, here's my advice, read the message again.

(1) Think about Feb. 26, 2011. Did you ever join a contest recently that you had to leave your cellphone number? In my case it was a no-brainer since the number that this message landed on was my work number, and I never give out my work number when it is for anything personal (say raffles, signing up for memberships, etc.) For those who don't even watch shows that asks you to text in this keyword and send to this number, then you're probably off the hook as well. In case you're not in any of the previous no-brainer situations, I suggest do the next one.

(2) Is the grammar correct? "U have won 300k Pesos+Fortuner car, ur Sim# as a homepartner last Feb.26,2011" to correct: You won 300K and a Fortuner car in a (raffle) last 2/26/11. Your (sim?) phone number was picked as a homepartner... etc. A legitimate message from a legitimate company would proofread the messages that they deliver twice or thrice and it will not be in the hands of just one person but of several, even a team.

(3) I dont even watch game shows, how can I be a homepartner?

(4) Then enter Google. Type in any keyword from the message then hit search. There you will find out that you are not the only one these guys are trying to get money from. This site was a big help in explaining the modus operandi for these schemes: http://www.wazzupmanila.com/protect-yourself-from-fraudalent-promos/92/

(5) If you realized how bad that you fell for this thing only to find out that Google has the answer, then you should have your EQ checked.

My purpose here is to add exposure to these things. It is as bothering as someone sending you a message that this is their new "roaming" number and that they will be needing help to reload their prepaid credits. This is sickening and we as the public and consumers should expose these things and yes, report them to the authorities.

There are a lot of people out there who are desperate to get money or (in form of) prepaid credits from you, be warned, be aware. Report to the authorities as soon as you get these types of messages.

The Time That Has Passed Is Yet to be Revisited

 It hasn't been revisited.

Nah! I'm not really sure, but I think the least that I can do to not be fully indebted with my blog is just give ti a little time and write something on it. I've missed blogging for a long time, yet the lack of substance has offered me no choice but to avoid blogging until further notice.

And notice the use of the words "lack of substance", I am partly talking about mojitos and margaritas there.

My months have revolved from being self-centered to all-centered. I've been a human for everyone. Who knew it was a big responsibility? I'm not superwoman (oh no way!), but I've been much responsible for a lot of things than I could've imagined almost a year ago.

It's tough but I'm having quite some fun.

But you do realize that you want to turn back the clock and pick out the decision apart from what you've decided on. You start asking the different "what if's" and ask yourself, "would I have been better off that way?"

I never questioned my decisions, and I am happy to have decided the way I did and be on the shoes I'm wearing now. Yet there are times when you feel that there are gaps in your life that a professional career hasn't filled yet. There are questions in life yet to be answered, and there are places yet to be discovered.

At times I think I've made the wrong decision because I've given up on the me-centered life. In the midst of a hustle, its always nice to get back to having a quite fun loving life, a carefree life.

Yet I cannot live the always me-centered life. For one, its expensive and you need to live for the next day as well. Second, there's a need to grow up, and growing up involves leaving yourself and thinking about other people as well.

At present, I like the busy life. I get to spend time not thinking about me and just do what I have to do. Robots are designed that way, be busy. It's good sometimes because you get to make use of your youth at the service of others. You think of what you have to do the next day, and the next, and the following day. You think of it as not JUST the next day, but you get CHALLENGED that it is the next day.

Hello

 The most I can do in this blog is say hello and ask you all how have you been?

phew!

woohoo! i was able to pretty much accomplish part of what i was doing. i was trying to make this work website via blogger. truthfully, i didnt want to use blogger since blogger is for blogging, not for business websites, but i ended up getting angry with the other free sites. oh well. so it was nice to play around blogspot once more and found out that there are a lot of things that they added to the site. after working on it, i am now thinking of giving a new look to Fish Tank. you'll see the changes in the next couple of days, or weeks depending on how busy i am with the other things that i have to do. for now, check out the blog/website that i just finished:

http://jboschkuchen.blogspot.com/




I still have problems with it as I cannot remember how to resize it automatically like how I do it with Fish Tank, and how I can get rid of the blog post footer. the one with the "Atom" or anything that looks odd on the pages. I just really want to change some other things in the site still, but for now, I'm pretty satisfied with this (so is my boss, thank you).

btw, i noticed earlier also that there are changes with the blogger CSS templates that I think it isn't written as how it was before. i dunno really how you call it, but comparing it to Fish Tank's template, its pretty different.

Looking for a new space

I have a wonderful life but there are people who make it suck.

(1) neighbors- they suck. or most of them do. stupid, careless, insensitive. they suck.
(2) those people who are screaming hell on the streets at 12midnight. im freaking working on my big ideas, and most people are asleep. its their third wave of their freaking screaming, oh wait fourth. eff them. really eff them. they should get a more decent life.

why are people so effing insensitive. some more, i will consider saying the F word really. maybe id like to scream at them from the 25th floor. damn them.

rants for today: service staff

(1) i started going to the gym the other day. i was an energizer bunny and i was in high spirits. since its my re-enrollment in that gym, i have 3 free PT sessions so that they can give me a program. i didnt make a schedule ahead of time so i made an appointment for the following day. they asked me if it will be my first time to go to the gym, and i chuckled saying, "its my first time in a long time." i must admit, last time i was in that gym was almost 5 years ago (Dec 05 was the last one, i believe). then they looked at each other and gave that annoying smirk that meant like, "man! she's not been here in a long time. that's why." that look actually pissed me off. that wasn't the first time anyone on that gym did that. a few weeks back, another lady staffer did the same thing after i told them when my last visit to that gym was. annoying.

(2) i went to this nice japanese place to get myself some lunch. it was in a quiet side of the mall, the food has always been good, and the price is affordable. so i went in and there were 4 tables occupied. each table had some company, and i was rather alone. the server took 2 minutes before she handed the menu to me, and she looked and sounded rather annoyed that i was alone, that i asked what the contents of a Nabeyaki Udon is, and that i didnt order any drinks. but come to think about it, my meal ended up with 225 pesos, a good sum for a place like that and for eating alone. besides the Nabeyaki Udon, i had a very good Salmon Temaki. the Salmon Temaki itself is 100pesos already. what more is she asking for? i was thinking. my udon came and the other lady, the pregnant one, almost slid the bowl on my table. i just closed my eyes and thank the heavens that it didnt spill on me and that i have patience. the only nice person in that place was the manager. she was courteous and friendly.

(3) i went to get some desserts for home. it was after the usual break time/ rush hour in fast food. i wanted to take home some cake slices because i missed black forest and sylvannas, and i wanted to try that white forest cake. so i ordered from the lady who, even before i came up to the register, was asking her manager to teach her some things on computing something (or whatever). the lady on the register was nice, the manager gave an annoyed look when i had to take some of their time so that i can place my order. it was too apparent as he wasnt even happy that there was someone wanting to buy from them. he did the same thing with the two other customers after me.

its so good that i get to sleep (even if it isnt such good sleep), i get to wake up, i get to be happy. i dont want to be like any of those people. i hope that i may be given a lot of patience or if not, then a calm spirit to voice out the problems when it needs to be addressed.

TRH: Talking Random Here

Browser and I were tweeting about going back to archives trying to dig up when was the first time I showed up to comment on his blog or something. I said early 2007, coz thats when I had my macbook, and thats when I became an active blogger again (Again, since I had a blog site on blogger and friendster before this) actually, that's around the time that The Fish Tank blog was born. Wait, actually Fish Tank blog was born late 2006 but not became too active until early 07. if you look back on archives, I think Fish Tank was hyperactive around that time (hyperactive just like me right now).

I'm wide awake. I feel like falling asleep but I dont want to because I'm afraid I'll miss something or I'll forget doing something. I hate that feeling. I hate that feeling also that when I dug up some more junk, I found that I almost left my only living watch that I've not used in a long time. WTF? I almost left my Technomarine!!!

I hate this feeling also. I have runny nose. I never felt like sick or anything. I think whatever my eyes dont want to show, it was going to my nose. sick.

And the countdown begins...

its 31 days before another chapter in my life ends and a new one begins. i sound too cheesy here, but that is the truth. its not that 2010 is the new millennium, or that the number 6 has been instrumental in some of my pivotal moments (because almost 4 years ago, on 3/6/06, is when i started the chapter of the one that im just closing)... it just happened that way.

i cant believe thats how long it was yet it seems like yesterday. or maybe it wasnt really long ago, it wasnt ancient, yet time just moves fast giving us new things to learn, new stuff to deal with, and it just makes us grow and hopefully gain wisdom at each step. its just how life takes us, and we have to deal with it with open arms, open minds, and open hearts. (i love the seeming logic in what im writing, or the subtle philosophy, but i should go ahead and write).

when i come to think about things, i tell myself that i can sales-pitch myself for a good career/project proposal. i can get loans with the words i say, yet deep in me there's still this little voice that says, "i dunno what you're up to, chicken, but i think your words are vague." and that is true. as much as i try to make myself confident that i know what im doing, that im sure what i want, there's always this dark force that makes you doubt if you're even going to make it. im not sure if i have to blame Gemini for this thinking, but thats just how i am. i feel confident on one hand, and i feel anxious about tomorrow on the other. please tell me im normal.

its like that show i was watching though told me. maybe you've just put yourself too much on that pedestal, you've put that bar high that you want to achieve something to be competitive, but at the same time you beat yourself up when u dont feel like you've measured up. maybe sometimes you've got to take it easy and enjoy what life has to give. lets see how i'll put that into practice then.

The Real "The Office"?

so there comes in a guy wearing his polo and tie. he introduces himself as the sales representative for our area on office supplies. so he chats up with my co-worker while i do my stuff, and then i heard my co-worker say, "oh my you are tall!" and a guy comes in wearing a jacket. he's tall and lanky, and i wanted to laugh. the first thing that came to my mind was...

"are you Jim Halpert?"

i swear, he looked like he ripped Jim Halpert, and the manager looked like he ripped Michael Scott.

im emo. leave me alone.

(you were warned. if you read beyond this, dont hold it against me).

oh darn what was i thinking? this was my second failed attempt to write something heartfelt yet here i go again my angst is blown by the wind of winding words because of writing down a warning note on top of this post. *sigh!*

what i wanted to say really was this... i live for the future and not for the past. every little thing i do at present builds for my future. i dont regret decisions that ive made, and i dont hold back decisions for the future because of someone or somebody else. i work to a better future because of me and no one else.

thank you.

to Twilight and Johnny Depp fans

you'll find them in this online album from the San Diego Comic-Con. most people would love it if they came here to Baltimore, but i would be freaked out with the extra number of people on the lines, thats for sure. i just wish they had Neil Gaiman. i'd be happy. =)

Interesting!

 there was something about the icky looking frog that got me interested that it became blog worthy.
See-Through Frogs, Alien Salamanders, and Spiny Bugs...Oh My
i wish i could see them myself. =)

4/15 (3)

some funny things i found on Facebook.


witch wants to kill the princess, but.... (i think izzy wont like this)


need to reach one million fans? i feel sad for this dude now.
 

this sounds awesome!

im not a Spidey fan but this on Broadway sounds REALLY amazing. http://spidermanonbroadway.marvel.com/

4/4

i have a verrrryyyy baaaadddd headache.

4/3

 its official. im on Spring Break. =D

4/2

today is April 2nd, 2009. i usually take note of it when it hits this day because for some reason, this date got stuck to me. i dont know what this date means though. it was the date for our High School Prom, and the Senior Ball, both events was left on the recesses of my brain, but other than that, i know there's something else to it... i just cannot figure out properly... hmmm....

maybe, like the Prom and the Ball events, its on the recesses of my brain as well.