torn

for some weird reason, my mom just started the conversation of me considering going to law school. the funny thing was she was talking about going back to manila, and studying in san beda alabang, a school i considered going to before i graduated. i remember she didnt want me to go to SBCA coz its quite far from our place. then we talked about some other stuff about it, which i cant remember, thus sum and total, i trashed the idea.

so i told her, if i have to go back to manila and pick a law school, there is only one place im thinking of going. my university, de la salle, where they have a partnership with FEU that after 3 or 4 years of completing your course, you will graduate with a JD-MBA degree. a double degree! and you dont need a 2 year experience in business to enter the MBA-JD program! really nice. so i replied to her that, and again she said, "but they have a trimestral system, i dont want you going thru that again." and all i said to her was, "i dont care. that's how badly i want that double degree."

now, i really dont know where this conversation is headed. sometimes, these things just freak me out and make me think a lot. and sometimes thinking about the future is so tiring. its not even just thinking of alternatives in your life, its thinking what direction your life is headed! it sucks! but maybe, someone has to think of it once in awhile.

back in college, before and after i shifted to political science, i was determined and i was focused to do what i want to do. looking back to it, i realize, i thought i knew what i wanted in life, i thought i had it all figured out. not that i am not happy, i am happy right now. i am happy on how i am living my life. i was thinking, i know what is happening right now is part of my "dream" life. but of course there are always things that you cant get. there are certain things in life that makes me unhappy still. there are things that i consider myself to have failed at, and that is what makes me unhappy. for a better word for it, it makes me frustrated with myself.

everyone wishes the best for her life, but sometimes you cannot get it, either thats the final deal, or you cannot get it at the moment. everything goes on the right time, at a right moment. if takes hard work to pursue it, im in!

PS: the horse Barbaro dies after months of struggle. may he rest in peace. he did a great fight during his career and the past months was also the same.